Tuesday, June 5, 2012

16 Hipster Headstones - Because Irony Never Dies

Eventually, hipsters are going to begin dying.
When they do, they'll need an epitaph that doesn't follow your rules.

Here compadres, I'll get you started.
The amount of scarf you wear could be deadly


1. May some spiritual being, but not your traditional vision of God, rest her soul.
2. This is only a headstone. All of Gauge's body parts are being composted by his request.
3. She died in spite of you.

4. Earth has no sorrow that a farmers market with organic hummus can't heal.

5. He wanted to die in Canada.
6. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments we spend hating Lady Gaga.

7. This headstone was purchased at a thrift shop for $6.
8. She went to limbo, it's less corporate than heaven.
9. iheadstone by Apple.
10. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, but you've probably never been there, it's in this really obscure little divey part of town.
11. The 18th layer of scarf was the one that took his final breath.

12. Have a dogfish head for me, guys.

13. Go towards the light, but bring your Ray Bans. You might want to bring some hiking gear, too.

14. May his mustache continue to curl upward toward heaven.

15. Where I'm going, Napster is legal.

16. Where's my headband? My housemate is still wearing my goddamn headband.